How to Support a Partner who is going through Infertility






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Infertility can be a very difficult subject to approach with most people. When the person who is having issues is your own partner, you are likely to be experiencing some very tough emotions and may find it difficult to offer the support that they need during this time.

However, keeping in touch with your partner’s feelings is an important process that you need to be considerate about. Infertility is one of the biggest relationship damaging things that a couple can go through during their lifetime.


Handling the issues together is very important and you need to be supportive of one another during this time. So, if you are going through this situation with your partner, the first step is to get together emotionally and deal with the problems together.

1. Counseling

Some couples may find that counseling is a fantastic option when they are dealing with infertility. Having a safe place to voice their concerns and opinions is very important and a counselor can help you develop these feelings and work through them as a couple. Your counselor will also make sure that all issues are addressed so that the lines of communication remain open throughout the entire process.

Young couple consults at the psychologist

2. Physical comfort and emotional support

After you have your lines of communication open, it is important to understand the ways that your partner needs to be supported. One of the major ways to support your partner through this difficult process is through physical comfort and emotional support.


This is simply offering a shoulder to cry on and ears that will listen and understand what they are going through. Realize that they are probably blaming themselves for the issues that you are having as a couple and work to make sure that they understand that they are not to blame.

3. Supporting their esteem

Supporting their esteem is also an important part of helping your partner deal with infertility. Most people going through infertility will feel that something is wrong with their bodies or that they were not made correctly. Insure them that they are perfect just the way that they are and that you still admire and respect them in every way that you can.


4. Research about the problem and offer ideas for solutions

Another important support structure is by offering advice when they need it. Help them research areas that may be causing infertility and offer ideas for solutions. Don’t be afraid to try something new that has been shown to help others who are going through your same situation.


5. Do things together

Helping out around the house is also a way to help eliminate some of the stress that your partner is feeling. If possible, try doing things together that would normally be completed by your partner.


This might consist of things like household chores or shopping for groceries. Whatever support that you can offer in a tangible way will be greatly appreciated.

6. Talk to your Doctor

Remember that many couples are going through the same struggles that you are currently seeing. You should stick together and work through these issues as a couple. Be sure to talk over concerns that you may have with your doctor and take his advice to heart.

By staying open to the advice of others, you may find that this process goes smoother and with less stress. Even if it is determined that you will never have kids, it is important to support your partner.


If you choose, there are always options to have kids, such as adoption or surrogacy. While these situations may not be as ideal as having a child of your own, sometimes they are necessary.

7. Discuss other options

However, if this is the case, you will need to discuss with your partner their feelings and try to make them feel as comfortable as possible. Reassure them that you still love and respect them and help them to realize that nothing that has happened is their fault. Many people who are experiencing infertility tend to feel badly about the situation and wonder if there is something that could have been done differently.


Your doctor will be the best person to decide if you are able to have children or not, but whatever the outcome, it is important that you support your partner physically and emotionally regardless of the outcome. By offering them the support that they need, you will be letting them know that you intend to stand by their side regardless of the struggles that life throws at you.

Larissa Belanger, RN

Ms. Belanger has 20 years of experience in women's healthcare and nursing, including labor and delivery, postpartum and antenatal. She is passionate toward improving both maternal and fetal outcomes of high-risk obstetrics patients.