Keeping the Spark Alive While TTC






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1. The Spark Can Be Lost

There is a lot of science that goes into trying to conceive. You have to know when you are ovulating, what days to have sex, and the science behind what makes a woman more likely to get pregnant.


It can be very easy to get caught in the never ending cycle of ovulate, sex, wait, repeat. That can quickly drain the spark out of your relationship. Read on for some ways to keep the spice alive when you are trying to conceive.

2. Plan For Your Rendezvous

Many couples think that spontaneity is the most important thing when it comes to sex.  However, once you start trying to conceive, the truth of the matter is, you have to plan ahead.


So, when you know you are going to be ovulating, make it into a full on event. Plan a date with your partner, and spend the entire evening together. Just because sex needs to be planned for doesn’t mean it won’t be good.

3. Switch It Up

Once you fall into the rut of trying to conceive, things can get boring fast. Think outside of the box (and the bedroom!) and try to spice things up. If you normally have sex at night, try it in the morning.


If you are a bedroom kind of couple, take things to the kitchen or the bathroom. If you normally need a long time to make love, try a quickie.

4. Keep Some Secrets

One of the quickest ways to kill the mood is to say “honey, let’s go, I’m ovulating”! Instead, try to keep a few secrets when it comes to your fertility. Don’t tell your partner when you are ovulating or when your fertile days are. Just surprise him with some sexiness.


Don’t feel guilty about keeping your guy out of the fertility loop, as long as you are on the same page when it comes to conceiving. Just give him a surprise every now and then.

5. Connect In Other Ways

Remember that it is important to connect with your partner outside of the bedroom when you are trying to conceive. Have a night out on the town, hire a babysitter, go out to a nice dinner and have a glass of wine. Go for a walk or go see a movie.


Think back to the beginning of your relationship and think of what you used to do to stay connected. Making sure to keep your connection when you are trying to conceive is extremely important.

Regina Ledoux, RN, CNM

Ms. Ledoux began her career as an ObGyn nurse practitioner prior to becoming a practicing midwife in the Santa Cruz community. Working together with ObGyn physicians in her own practice, she has over 20 years experience in women's health, pregnancy and childbirth.